Check out the new blog I'm working on, and actually getting paid for. The nice people at Spamcube have hired me to write Fishing In The Spam Can, a daily look at spam mails, as a way of promoting their rather flash new product

Best of all, they've put no restrictions on what I can write about, as long as it's spam-related. I can be as angry, obscene and scatalogical as I like. So every day (well, maybe not every day, but you get the idea) I'm going to write a piece about an original, startling or downright amusing or sinister piece of spam. If you get any good ones, send them over to me at fishinginthespamcan@gmail.com.

Now let's get stuck into that juicy spam. Mmmm.

It has often been observed by readers of this blog that I have a tendency to be a bit down on Jesus.

Today I'm going to give the guy a break. Being Jesus must be like being the bloke who answers the phone when you dial one of those "How Am I Driving?" numbers on the back of badly-driven vans and lorries: he's genuinely trying to make the world a happier, safer place and all he gets is aggravation.

So just for today, let's forget all the crusades, pogroms, persecutions of heretics, burnings, bastinado, the rack, tithes, censorship, banning of books, beating of children, indoctrination, weird sexual mores, limitation of education, oppression of women, hounding of gays, saying that condoms are useless against AIDS, encouraging of large families in third-world countries and preaching while the poor starve. Let's choose to ignore, just for one day, all the bits of the Old Testament that advocate murder and genocide, the bits of the New that don't add up or are contradictory, the hypocrisy, the suppression of science, the Inquisition, the propping up of dictatorships, the civil wars, the colonialism, the years of academic brilliance wasted on theological minutiae (monophysitism, anyone?) and the social and intellectual respectability given to otherwise intelligent people who choose to believe in fairies at the bottom of the garden.

Let's give Jesus a break. The boy done well. He busted a gut rising from the dead, and we should should make an effort to be grateful.

Good effort, Son.

Many thanks to all those who have been hounding me about not updating for a whole month. It's been a busy one, I've got lots of interesting stuff to write about (well, I think it's interesting) and I'll get back to detailed posting soon.

I've seen a lot of la Beastcroft over the past week. We played a gig at Emardi's in Yarm last Thursday and she was round here yesterday being my secretary for the day. Got tons of stuff done. I thought she'd be dead slack - what really happened is that she spent the whole day bullying me to work harder. For everyone who got their kicks from Savage Heart we're going to record a new album in the summer. Me on piano, her singing, and That Matt Dixon playing bass, guitar, drums, triangle, didgeridoo and making the tea. He doesn't know this yet, unless she's told him.

Righty-ho, I'm going to have to do some work now. I'm scared the Beast will berate me if she finds out I'm behind schedule. I'll post more over the weekend. Until then, enjoy a little light music, or go to Geoffrey Chaucer Hath A Blog and laugh your pants off.

Cest conseil avreit eu success, si non pur l’interference de voz jeuenez meddleurs!