I've just rescued the Münsterländer from A1 Boarding Kennels and Cattery, Brompton-on-Swale.

Ann phoned while I was in Germany to tell me that the place had been shut down by the police and the RSPCA. Apparently the woman who runs it had some sort of breakdown and her husband had legged it to Ireland. The dogs didn't get looked after properly, lacked food and water and were up to their necks in their own poo. Fortunately the Münsterländer was only there 48 hours before the RSPCA took over. When I dropped her off all had seemed normal - behind the scenes, it seems, things were on the brink of collapsing completely.

I'm not going to lash into the people that own the place. What I will say is that those RSPCA guys were superb. When I arrived there were two of them on site, both wearing the hollow-eyed expression of men who have just earned Society Medals for Sheer Volume of Shit Shovelled and - from what I could see - were well on their way to adding bars to them. They were polite, kind to the dogs, friendly but firm with Mr. Owner (who has slunk back from Ireland) and obviously very bothered indeed about their jobs - even though they don't get paid enough, deal with some right bastards and probably make shit-shovelling motions in their sleep.

The Münsterländer herself - I need hardly say - is not in the least traumatised, although she would have everyone think otherwise. Bring me more bikkits to ease the pain, human slave, and bring them now.